Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Nicole vs. Life
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
