I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
