How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
now i know why i became what i already was.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
