I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He did a backflip because drugs
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