shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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