I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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