Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize