People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
