so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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