so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
