Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
how does that bad decision feel?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
