Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
