And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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