i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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