i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
