WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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