I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
