I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
