"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
