my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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