go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
