lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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