Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
