I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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