BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
