the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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