he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
be right there i have to get my cape
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
