An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
