i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize