3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
