Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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