he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
