i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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