You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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