Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
