are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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