dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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