quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize