im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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