idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
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Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
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forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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