We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
