yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
