Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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