did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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