Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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