i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
