It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize