I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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