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I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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