i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
