Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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