If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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