it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
