hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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