he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Operation Purity has been aborted
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
