yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Randomize
