So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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