David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
